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Ten Questions for Peter Dutton

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Peter Dutton’s been doing a lot of interviews lately, but no one seems to be asking the important questions!

  1. Can you prove that you are in fact Peter Dutton, and not Scott Morrison who has secretly appointed himself Peter Dutton?
    Scott Morrison has form in secretly appointing himself to things. Citation.
  2. You’ve spoken in the past of your work as a police officer, and in particular, your attendance at domestic violence disputes. In your experience, when the wife in such a case starts defending her husband unprompted, saying things like “he’s a good man” or “he provides for us” or “he’s not a monster”, how likely is it that she’s telling the truth?
    Just asking, this seems like a thing he would know about. Citation.
  3. You’re fond of playing up to a tough on crime image, and yet you’ve often voted against tougher penalties for crime, as with the recent wage theft bill. How do you square that circle?
    It’s almost like he sees there as being two kinds of crime: crimes which must be punished massively, and are committed by poor people; and crimes which are not that important, and are committed by rich people. Citation.
  4. You’ve made being a police officer a big part of your image, but the fact is that you’ve been a politician and a property developer half again as a long as you were ever a cop. Why don’t your other jobs get equal time?
    Seriously, being a property developer is his major source of income, but it doesn’t rate a mention on his official site. Citation.
  5. Were you to become Prime Minister of Australia, you would be the face of the nation to much of the world, and have the responsibility of negotiating with foreign heads of state. Under those circumstances, would it be your plan to continue to make racist jokes?
    I mean, big tough decisive men like Petey don’t change their minds, do they? Citation.
  6. You like to talk about the dangers and instability of minority government. As the current parliamentary leader of a notably unstable party that has had seven different leaders in the last 18 years, do you regard yourself as an expert on this subject?
    I mean, he’s obviously not an expert on winning a leadership spill, which odd considering how many he’s been through. Citation.
  7. The Liberal Party likes to say that it is the party of sound financial management. Why did your party pay ten times the market value of the Leppington Triangle, and how does that constitute sound financial management?
    The Liberal Party has an eye for an anti-bargain. Citation.
  8. Your nuclear power policy, by your own account, will take many years and cost billions of dollars before it generates a single joule of power. How will that lower power costs this year?
    Construction won’t even start until some time in the 2030s… Citation.
  9. Your nuclear policy contains no information about where the waste from the power stations will be stored. Would you be okay with it being stored in your electorate?
    WEIL
  10. Given that your nuclear power policy is less a complete policy, and more a sort of performance art, does it actually indicate that you are testing the waters before you go into performance art full time when you leave Parliament?