Public Service Announcement: The Most Common Causes of Lost Nasal Piercings

Since it seems like a lot of people are complaining of lost nostril piercings lately, The Centre Cannot Hold is proud to offer this guide to the most common ways such losses occurs, in the hope that this will make them easier to avoid:

Sticking things up your nose
No, really. You stick something, like say a straw or a finger, up there, and the chances are that you’ll hit the inside end of the piercing, and push it right out. So, be careful when you’re snorting that coke, and cut down on the nose picking, okay?

Oral Sex (on Women)
The plus side to losing your nose piercing this way is that you’ll probably know at the time. The down side is that you may well scratch the thigh of your companion quite painfully, even to the point of drawing blood.

Oral Sex (on Men)
Obviously, any repetitive movement risks slowly vibrating your piercing out. This risk can be lowered – but not eliminated – by moving more slowly. Also, if he’s wearing a condom, be careful not to tear it.

Any other form of sex
Much the same as with oral sex (both kinds). Let’s be careful out there, folks.

Few things can propel a piercing as far or as hard as a nice, violent sneeze. If you lose one this way, you may as well not bother looking for it. Seriously: if you have hayfever, this is not the piercing for you.

Wearing glasses
Mostly, this is only a danger when you’re taking them on or off, but if you have loose-fitting glasses, they may slowly slide down your nose, and…
…you get the picture.

What? You can lose anything else by drinking. Why would nose piercings be any different?

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